What If?
by browneyedbeauty903
Summary: I am completely numb. I feel like I am disappearing. It's the scarlet pools of red that finally remind me I'm alive. This is my way of dealing, until HE stepped in. My version of Leah's story and how she learned to love her enemies.
1. Prologue

What if?

It's the forbidden question, and the one that is constantly on my mind. Forbidden because of the images it creates. Vivid, beautiful pictures of what could have been, but it also causes unbearable pain. So much pain, and the terrible knowledge that all my beautiful what ifs could have happened. But they didn't, and as much as I want to blame everybody else, I know that it's truly my fault that I didn't get a happy ending.

But the question still stings my brain over and over again. What if the world was the way it's supposed to be, with no real monsters, the one from myths and stories told around a glowing fire, spitting red and gold sparks into the air? I would still have my Sam. Not Emily's Sam but the one that would hold me during the cold nights, the one that wouldn't dream of trying to change me, the one who loved me. The one that was mine, all mine.

What if perfection had been good enough? I would still have a home and people who love me, care about me. I would still be the Beautiful Leah, not the Bitter Leah. I would still be the girl every guy wanted to kiss, and every girl wanted to be.

Those are the two most prominent questions that burn like fire, charring away my hope and happiness. There is one other though, one that I never let myself think, yet I know it's there. It's the most dangerous, I believe. It brings such a glorious illustration to mind, one that would kill me to see. One that would undo years of trying to put myself back together.

What if I wasn't so afraid?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Leah's Point Of View

It is silent in the big house. As I walk from room to room, I wonder where everyone went. Maybe they finally got sick of me and left. I wouldn't blame them. I slowly walk up the stairs, all the way to the third floor, peering into every room. Eventually I have made a full circle. There is nobody left. Maybe they're hunting..? I could phase and ask Jake, but I decide against it because a) I am lazy; b)I don't want someone possibly walking in while I am naked, either before or after sprouting fur; or c; I don't really give a damn. I decide on the third one and continue my tour of Casa de Bloodsucker. I am surprised how well I can tell whose room is whose just by the scent. I must be spending too much time with the leeches. I let my mind wander until I end up back in the living room. Would it be a living room or you're dead like the precious parasites are? I think about this for a moment and then I see it.

It's not that I'd never seen the piano before, but this time it seemed different, more.. inviting, in the empty room. It had been years since I'd touched a piano. We'd only had a small, slightly banged up upright at.. Well, not home exactly, but the place I had live for eighteen years. I cautiously step toward the large instrument. Right foot, then left, then right again.. Shit, I think I'm going insane if I have to concentrate this much on walking.. After what seems like miles but in reality is only a few feet, I am in front of the beautiful piano facing the ivory keys and the shorter ebony ones. Black like my soul. I smile to myself and my hands move to rest on the wood. My small but long-fingered hands look filthy next to the pristine whiteness. _You swore you'd never touch an instrument again.. _a voice nags me. Oh, so now I'm hearing voices? Great. Might as well answer. _Yeah, well, I've already broken so many promises. Why not break another? _Is my last thought before I place my fingers on the clean keys directly. Damn.. So not only am I hearing voices, I'm answering them too? I take a deep breath, and one last glance around the room to make sure no one else is here and I begin.

At first my fingers are clumsy after not touching, caressing anything quite like this in so long, but after a few notes I am warmed up. I begin losing myself in the emotions and the sensations of conveying them using only my hands. It is amazing. I am glad that even after years of not playing, I have not lost my knack for creating melodies, twisting through the still and silent air. It feels wonderful to let everything out. The confusion, the hurt, the anger, the frustration.. I reach into the lower octaves to portray the darker parts. My right hand journeys farther up the keyboard however and I feel like I am weaving the story of my life. Beautiful and light, then slightly darker and more fearful, then angry and loud before slightly quieting into a softer more peaceful song, yet still achingly gloomy.

The song is over much too soon, and I am finished. My foot stays on the damper pedal, holding out the last lingering note while my hands fall to my lap. I am almost back where I started – Completely numb, not really feeling emotion, or hurt – and I realize that finally playing the piano had made me.. _live_ again, letting my guard down and finally identifying the emotions that I'd been trying to hide for so long. And to be honest, it scared the shit out of me. I take a deep, shuddery breath, and my eyes slide close. I try to remember what it had been like when I was playing, but the feeling that I had gotten had already slipped away from my mind. I finally remember the name of it though, and it shocks me. _Peace_. It had been so long since I've felt it, I have forgotten what it's like. I have thought all of this through in exactly 1.32 seconds and I hear quiet applause coming for the door. I turn around to meet the eyes of Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett. All of a sudden I am filled with anger. They were spying on me! I growl, and feel my body begin to shake. The heat is coming in waves and I am about to lose it..

**A/N: Hey! I really hope you're enjoying this so far, this is my first story to post in general, the first time I've ever written something and let other people see it.. Anyway, this story is gonna be pretty long, and there will still be quite a few chapters until the actual romance, but if you hang with me for a bit, I'll try my hardest to make it worthwhile! Anyway, thank you to the people who have reviewed, I'm not gonna beg for reviews, but a few would be great(:**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

But nothing happens. I feel a strange calm spreading over me and in the very back of my mind I realize that the calmness is fake. I look at the blonde emo one, Jasper, and he _smirks _at me. I stare at him for half a second and realize that my shield is down. Yeah, that's right- SHIELD. Maybe nobody mentioned it because I am so mundane and boring as I am always told, but nobody gets up in my business unless I want them to. No one can know my thoughts, know my emotions and screw with them, nothin'. It's quite useful except the fact that it takes a bit of concentration and if I ever forget completely about it, then my protection is gone. I can still function and stuff completely normally without thinking about the shield but sub-consciously it has to be on my mind. I guess that doesn't make sense, but whatever. It's the truth; deal with it. It's a real pain in the ass when I forget though.. Like now. I put my shield back up and am tempted to rip Blondie #2's throat out but I don't since Doctor/Blondie#3 is talking. "I'm sorry, Leah. I assure you we did not mean to spy. We were out hunting and when we came back we heard the piano and came to investigate. When we realized that you were playing we decided it was best to just let you finish," he says in a frustratingly soothing voice, like he's talking to some angry wild animal. This is true but I don't like to talk about it, kay? By now I have managed to mentally take a chill pill and my small burst of anger is gone, but replaced my slight embarrassment. "I.. I'm sorry.." I hear someone say in what sounds like my voice. No ,wait that is me. Shut up, Leah! I tell myself but my voice keeps going. I am stuttering which I hate. "It's just.. Nobody was here and it's been so.. so long and I.. The piano was just there so.. I mean I should have.. have asked but no one else was here so.. I thought you were gone and.." I trail off weakly. What the hell? Leah Clearwater is not weak, nor does she stutter. I feel a flash of mild frustration but I hold myself together.

Instead of looking furious as I had expected, Edward has a look of wonder on his face as he looks at both me and the piano in what seems to be a kind of new light. "Where did you learn to play like that? How long have you been playing? Who is that piece by? I've never heard it.. Have you ever tried composing? Is Seth musically gifted as well?" He asks eagerly. I taught myself, I play for 3 years before my break, myself, of course not idiot, I would hope you know the answer to that since I just said that I wrote the song, and God no. He can't read my mind so I am forced to relay these responses/snide comments with my now cooperative voice. Carlisle leans in, clearly interested. "Three years?" he asks incredulously. "That certainly didn't sound like a composition of someone who has only been playing for three years." I sigh. This is getting complicated. "Uh.. well, there are.. theories about that. Um, Harry and Sue were under some kind of absurd impression that I am some sort of musical prodigy. I personally think that's a buttload of bullshit. I believe that either the piano is extremely easy to learn or I'm just an apt pupil when it comes to music.." Edward begins to mumble to himself, something that I can't hear even with my werewolf senses across the room but Carlisle clearly can, as he is nodding his head and murmuring back.

Jasper who has been silent –shock, I know! – seizes the opportunity to jabber. I have never heard him speak before so I am surprised when he says "sorry'" in a deep rumbling voice, not quite a growl but almost. I is slightly higher and smoother than Emmett's, but rougher and lower than Edward's or even Carlisle's. It also has a bit of a sexy accent to it.. _No, bad Leah!_ I mentally slap myself. It's because he's a vampire, I reason. Everything about him is supposed to be beautiful and he just so happens to be slightly rougher than the other perfect leeches and I just so happen to like rugged men. Ugh, he's married for God's sake, I remind myself. I am not Emily. I will not chase committed men.. committed men. Something about that sounds so hot.. I mentally slap myself again. "For.. What?" I ask cautiously. For making me feel the urge to jump on you and do things little pixie hasn't even heard of? He smiles and I nearly faint. Thank God for my excellent poker face. "For manipulating you like that." His forehead creases slightly – How does marble _crease_? – and his smile starts to disappear. "It's just that I was rather unprepared for your emotions. They're much stronger than anyone else's, including your pack brothers'. I've never felt your emotions before and I was a bit overwhelmed by your anger so it was only natural for me to calm you down while I could." Oh, my emotions are stronger than anyone else's? Cool, I guess I am just _that _awesome, like I've been telling everyone for years. " That's fine, then, I guess. Just don't do it again." I finally say when it appears he's waiting for an answer.

Edward finally speaks again, "Carlisle and I agree that you most likely _are_ a prodigy of some sort, but usually people like you who are naturally gifted with one instrument are gifted with many others as well. Do you play anything else? Guitar maybe? Sing? Why did you take that break when you play this well and obviously enjoy it?" He is asking all the wrong questions that I will not answer. So instead I ask them for a favor. "Can you guys _not _tell anyone about this? Especially Seth. He'll start begging me to play again and I'm not sure I want everyone to listen." I try and succeed in keeping the desperation out of my voice. People/wolves/leeches/anything that exists finds out=bad. Edward had looked a little miffed that I didn't answer him but didn't look too irritated until I ask him to keep a secret. "You know I can't keep a secret form Bella," he begins. Bitch. Bella is the last person I would let know. Or maybe the first, so I could see if she is overcome with jealously like I'm pretty sure she already is. "But I promise I will do my best to not let anyone know." He finally finishes. Thank God. Emmett, who has been disturbingly quiet begins to talk (Ore shout, really.) "Damn bitch! You're even better than Rose or even Edward." This earns him a glare from his brother but Emmett pushes on, oblivious as usual. "Why haven't you told us you play? You know, there's nothing sexier than a woman with talent.." He wiggles his eyebrows. I ignore it since I don't want to get killed for attacking him when I know the Hulk wannabe is capable of so much more. "Memories." I state simply, unwilling to say anything more. I am tired of answering questions. This is exactly what I did not want to happen. I stand up and murmur, barely loud enough for even the parasites to hear, a goodbye. Say that I have to go to a council meeting/bonfire (which is true, shoot me now) later and out the door I go. God damn. What the hell was I thinking back there? Opening up to leeches? I growl at myself. Maybe they'll forget about it. Maybe they really don't care and were just pretending to be interested. I try to comfort myself with these thoughts as I run to the forest, undress, phase and lay town on the forest floor, wrapping my tail tightly around me and shut my eyes, blocking out everything. Time to get some sleep..

**A/N: So.. it's been a few days since I updated and in fanfiction world that usually feels like forever. Please don't hate me? Sacapuntas?.. Yes I just said pencil sharpener in Spanish because I am just THAT cool. Mm-hmm. Fear the awesomeness. On to the excuse for not updating and then to the important stuff.**

**Excuse: Basketball camp/workout/practice. I am volunteering at my school's basketball and I did not want to suck in front of the little 7****th****/8****th**** graders. Gotta set a good example my NOT missing every basket I shoot. So yeah.. there's basketball and I had a date! Unfortunately, it was the lamest (is that a word?), most boring date ever. Seriously. The guy does NOT know how to talk. He's totally sweet if you manage to make him speak though so that's a plus. I also stayed up late playing Left 4 Dead with my bro on Saturday night to make up for the lameness of the evening so I spent most of Sunday sleeping. That's all of my excuses. Sorry. (By late, I mean I didn't go to sleep until about 9. Played till 4, read and ate till 9 (that makes me sound fat! I'm not fat! I think.. Sat in bed waiting to fall asleep till 9:30ish.)**

**Important stuff: Yes, I play piano. Should have mentioned that in the last chapter since it's slightly irrelevent now but ohhh wellll.. Anyway, so I play the piano, I played for 3 years and seriously did take a break, and I think Jackson Rathbone/Jasper is super sexy. Except Jackson Rathbone isn't my idea of Jasper. Alex Pettyfer or Sean O'Pry are. But whatevs. Just another reason why the movie sucks. (Even though Jackson is uber-hot. (So is Kellan, and Peter, and Xavier (too bad he died) and Charlie Bewley, and Taylor.. and NOT Rob. What's with the obsession? He's like an older Justin Bieber but less talented, which is saying something. Sorry Bieber and Robert fans. I just don't like the guys.) So.. yep. That's how I relate this chapter to my life. Reviews? Screw what I said in the last chapter.. I want reviews!**

**Peace to da worlddd,**

**Akilah deLeon**


	4. Chapter 3

Does Seth just love to piss me off? I'm starting to think so.

And I _am_ extremely pissed as I traipse through the forest – in human form – violently snapping all the tree branches and thorns in my way and ignoring the little pricks. Who oh why did that _asshole_ have to run back and tell the Cullens that Sam and Emily are having a wedding in a month and I'm going to be her maid of honor? I don't want to, of course, but we made that promise when we were both 9, and I'm not about to go back on it. And now I have to walk to Leech Manor through the forest filled with millions of trees and bushes and thorn patches and other various plants. I could go around and use the path that everyone else uses but I won't. It's too easy and I'm Leah freaking Clearwater.

When my journey is finally complete and I have walked into the crypt – not knocking, even though I'm aware that was probable rude – I am greeted by the doctor. "Hello, Leah," he says pleasantly and then frowns down at my body still slightly scraped up from walking in the woods. "What happened?" he asks. I flip him off. He looks at me with something like pity in his eyes. I growl. He turns around, unfazed, and leads me to the dining room. In the center there is a huge beautiful, glossy reddish wood table. Around it are fourteen chairs. Twelve are filled with vampires, werewolves, and one vampire-human thing. Two are empty. Carlisle takes the seat at the head of the table and I take the other in between Quil and emo-Leech. Quil smiles at me; Emo-Leech ignores me. "So Leah," dear little Eddy begins. "We hear Sam and Emily are having a wedding?" He raises his eyebrows at me for confirmation. "Yep." Is all I say, popping the P. He nods and continues speaking in that weird voice of his. "Well, please don't be offended but we were wondering if you could.. take it." Everyone is watching carefully for my reaction. I feel my face slip into that perfect, expressionless face I always use when I don't want to use emotion, a bad habit I picked up from Sam. "I can." I say carefully, keeping my voice smooth and inflectionless. That's a total of three words from me to the bloodsuckers all day. And people say women can't shut up. Carlisle coughs, I suppose just a human habit he kept, and says quietly in a gentle voice, "We were thinking.. there will be humans present, and if you were to get angry, well, it could turn out quite badly. So we have discussed various possibilities and, please, don't be angry, same goes for you Jasper, but we were thinking he could accompany you to the wedding. You know, to calm you down if needed, assuming you let your shield down."

My mask is broken. Jasper and I both stand up. While he yells, "_What?"_ I snarl and try to refrain from phasing and killing everybody. First, who the hell do they think they are, trying to tell me what I can and can't do, telling me how they're unsure about my emotional control and boundaries? If anyone slips up it would be Mr. Emo-Leech.

In my anger, I must have let my shield down because Edward say, quite loudly, to be heard over Jaspers loud voice and my loud growls, "Of course, he would hunt first, Leah. You wouldn't have to worry about that." I think a bunch of random, insulting profanities at him and then put my shield back up. Jasper's screams have subsided finally and he sits down, as do I, and the walking talking steroids example mutters in Blondie's ear, "I knew they would take it well." I glare and actually seem to manage to frighten him a little. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and then opens her mouth. Oh my God.. The blonde can speak coherently. "We're not taking no for an answer. Think about it," her voice changes to a bitchier tone. "First of all, imagine the shock it would create, maybe even chaos. They won't want him there but you will insist. Emily will probably take your side and fight with Sam. It would be like crashing the wedding without actually doing something bad, just taking a vampire to the wedding. He's a vampire, and blonde, so he'd definitely draw attention. He's tall enough for you to be able to wear heels. He could make both Sam and Emily fell the guilt for the pain they've been inflicting on you. I got my revenge. You should too." Well, I'm not gonna kill them slowly, but when she puts it that way.. Besides, there's really no logical reason for me to hate Jasper for who he is as a person. Sure, I hate what he is, but that can't be helped, right? Oh God, those thoughts are getting too nice and mellow for me.

Meanwhile, Alice is trying to convince Jazzy. "For me?" She finally pleads. I think this is what does it. He turns slowly to me, his eyes cold. "Fine." He speaks through his teeth. I glare back and my lips lift in a snarl. Quil uneasily places a hand on my arm that is locked on the armrest of the chair I'm sitting in. I tense it until I hear the wood cracking. I stare angrily until Blondie#2 finally looks away. "Alright," I agree after a moment that seems to last hours but the sensible part of my mind knows is only about 6 seconds. I blink, looking pointedly at Quil's grip on my wrist. He loosens it immediately and removes his hand. "Okay," Esme says and everyone seems to leave incredibly quickly, until only Scarface, Pixie, and I are left. I am staring at a spot on the wood of the my mind full but blank at the same time. Jasper turns to me and say in a voice much different from earlier, "I apologize for the way I reacted. It's not that I have any aversion to you personally, I do not know you well enough to hate you, or even dislike you, but I just.. I don't like the idea of my family discussing something like this without me knowing." I don't lift my eves from the swirl in the table for a couple f seconds after this little speech/apology/whatever the hell it was. When I finally do, I am surprised to see that he looks.. nervous? "There's a party the night before. 8:00." He nods, then says something unexpected. "Come over here at 7:30 and I'll drive us over to the reservation, assuming you can persuade Jacob to let me?" I blink and then give a short nod. He gets up and leaves.

And then there were two.

Alice speak sort of shyly. "Leah.. If you want, there's a dress that would look great on you. You could wear it to the party. I could do your hair and makeup for the wedding too." I don't know why – maybe because she truly seems sorry about this whole mess, or maybe because I'm taking her husband to my cousin's wedding to a werewolf who is also my ex-boyfriend – but I feel like I owe her. So, almost as if in a dream, I agree. She seems to get really excited about this. There's an amazing Rafael Cennamo gown that would be great on you for the reception! And Emily's gonna let you wear any dress you want for the maid of honor dress as long as it's floor length and blue right? I saw her decide that. I found a Donna Karan dress that would make you look gorgeous! Not that you need a dress to make you look beautiful. I'd have to change the color on the Karan and I want to get the bottom of the Cennamo cut off, but it can be done!" Normally I'd never accept two expensive dresses, but I'm figuring that if I'm with Jasper they'll expect me to look nice, like that Cullens always do. Besides, I've always outshone Emily in the past, why not continue that at her wedding? Alice has said all of this at a speed that rival sound. I swear, her lips stop moving before the waves reach me. She starts rambling about hair and makeup and what colors would look nice on me, and how gorgeous my hair is among other things, but all I can do is stare blankly and think oh God.. What have I just agreed to?

**A/N: Hi people! I'm **_**soo**_** sorry it took so long to update, I last updated the day before we left to go to Europe and we got back about 2 days ago. Still exhausted! But hey, I wrote this on the plane there. I just had to type it in on my laptop. Europe was great – I went with my parents, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle and cousins, and a few friends and their families. It was amazing! Anyway, that's my excuse, I've been doing way more exciting things than write (Sorry). And, by the way, nothing in this chapter has ever happened to me. In case you were wondering.**

**Um.. I did have another chapter written to go before this one but when I re-read it, it was pretty shitty, so I deleted it.**

**Those dresses are real. The Rafael Cennamo is the one Christian Serratos wore to the New Moon premiere. The Donna Karan is the one Megan Fox wore to the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen premier in Tokyo. I noticed my last A/N was about 1/3 of my last update and I don't want that to happen again so I'll shut up now.**

**Ciao!**

**Akilah**

**PS: Megan Fox was my choice for Leah, not Julia Jones. Megan Fox, Mila Kunis, or Jessica Lowndes without the bangs. Just saying. Kay, bye(:**


	5. Chapter 4

At 6:30 pm I am walking to the vampire house again. It's been a month since we found out about how one of our mortal enemies is coming to one of our Alpha's wedding.

Why the hell it's gonna take an hour for the little one (meaning Alice of course, not Nessie as that would most likely not end well) to do my hair and makeup, I really have no idea. I also don't know why I have to look pretty tonight. The wedding – tomorrow – I can understand but tonight? Who gives a shit? Nobody's coming that I would need to look good for, right?

I ask Alice this when I arrive and she answers in that annoying sing-songy voice of hers, "No, nobody new should be coming, but of course, it's really hard to tell with all the wolves that will be there. As for why I'm doing this, it's purely for entertainment." She says all of this while leading me up the stairs to the third floor of the mansion. We stand in front of a large door. She smiles at me and opens it.

Holy shit. My jaw is on the floor. In front of me is the largest bathroom I've ever seen. On a shelf along the entire back wall there are about 50 different types of curling irons, flat irons, hot rollers, wavers, and hair dryers. On the counter there are millions of various bottles and containers of lotion, masks, foundations, concealers, creams, and other things that claim to improve any physical flaws. I really hope they didn't buy all of this for me. They'll be pissed when Alice finally realizes my hair and skin are perfect already. Not to sound full of myself, but I don't need any of these products – I never have and as long as I phase, I never will.

Once again, I don't want to sound conceited but I am beautiful and I know it. My skin is several shades lighter than anybody else's on the reservation but it still has that coppery glow that shows I am Native. My hair, which looks dark brown but is actually the darkest shade of red, falls down my back in the beach waves that most women waste money and time trying to get but I have naturally. My features are angular but not severe, My eyebrows are arched and I have long, thick, curly lashes that give me an exotic yet amazingly beautiful appearance. My eyes are large and a piercing shade of bluish-green, thanks to my mother. My body is slender but curvy, a rare body type but one that always made my friends and Emily jealous. My lips are plump, pouty, and pillowy. I've never had acne in my life. I am the most beautiful woman in La Push and Forks, possibly even the entire state of Washington. My appearance rival if not exceeds that of Rosalie's. I am the Quileute Aphrodite. Too bad it doesn't matter anymore.

While I sit in front of the huge mirror and Alice purses her lips, trying to find something that needs fixing, I slide my eyes shut. I remember when I could walk into a room and every man – and even some women – would turn and stare. I would smile. Someone would call me beautiful and I'd thank them graciously. That still happens but there are no smiles or kind words in return now. Instead, I keep doing what I had been doing, not allowing myself to think of the past.

Alice finally decides to put my hair up. I feel her gently twisting and braiding it and finally pinning it on top of my head. She lets a few loose tendrils fall around my face, and my bangs sweep across my left eye, ending just at the bottom of my nose. She sprays it with some hairspray. "What do you think?" she asks. I open my eyes. My hair is up in a carefully messy twist. The lights reflect off of it, showing my lighter red sun streaks. It accentuates my high cheekbones and shows off my slender neck. "Perfect." I whisper. She grins at me. "Now, for makeup, I was thinking really natural. We'll wait until tomorrow to really blow everybody away." She opens a drawer. Inside, there seems to be every type of makeup imaginable. My eyebrows raise slightly but my mouth remains shut.

She begins to dab a cool liquid all over my face. "You don't need it of course," she assures me. "But I need to use this _sometime_ and I made sure to get your perfect shade so.." she shrugs her bony shoulders. She sets the tiny bottle down and begins to blend it all out. "So what's with the long hair? I thought long hair meant long fur?" She grabs some translucent powder and begins sweeping it on. She's obviously trying to start a conversation and, help me God, I actually answer. "For the guys, yeah. For me, no. I'm the only female shifter – ever. So I'm kind of like a new breed of my own. Completely unknown, unexplored or researched." She nods thoughtfully. "That must be hard for you. I'm sorry." Now I shrug. What's hard for me is when people try to give me sympathy. Karma's a bitch and that's all there is to it. She grabs some blush. As she brushes it over my cheeks with a gigantic fluffy brush she asks, "Why are you so bitter all the time?" My eyes close again. I am not answering that question.

After a few moments of silence, Alice apologizes. "I guess that was a little too personal? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so blunt." I snort. Well, duh, that was personal. Now she has a bronze eyeliner in her hand. It's silent as she draws a line right at my lash line, adding a flick at the end. I glance up at my reflection in the mirror. The golden shade makes my eyes look more green then blue. She adds some mascara, making my lashes look like the most expensive pair of false eyelashes. She then grabs a cherry lip stain from somewhere in the seemingly bottomless pit that is the drawer and then freezes when she looks at my lips. "Leah.. Is your lip pierced?" she asks, shocked. I fight the urge to snicker. Then she looks at me, really looks at me and takes in all the small details.

I know what she sees. Three piercing on my left ear, one on my right. Two piercings in my left eyebrow. One in my right nostril. Two on each side of my full bottom lip. If she looked down she would see one in my belly button and if I opened my moth wide enough she would see the small, glistening silver stud glinting in my tongue. It's the only one of my piercings that I keep something in. The others are just small indentions. Yeah, I was rebellious. So what?

She looks like she wants to say something but the look in my eyes must stop her. So her eyes seem to glaze over for a second or two instead and then she focuses on my face again. "Jasper will be here in 4 minutes and 3 seconds. Put this on," She gestures to a stack of clothes at the far end of the counter I hadn't noticed before. "And put these in. The bottom holes." She says handing my long dangly black earrings with one hand while the other brushes the stain on my lips. Then she leaves the room and I am alone.

I walk over to the pile. Everything is my size. That's.. creepy. I look at the clothes. Strapless bra, underwear, a one-shoulder horizontally striped shirt. Acid wash skinny jeans. Red pumps. I throw them on and look in the mirror. I am not pretty, nor beautiful, nor gorgeous. I shine like the sun. But it's not enough. He still chose _her _over me. There was a time when I was the nicest girl you'd ever meet. Now I am dead and it shows. My eyes, always filled with light and love and laughter before, are now cold and unforgiving, and blank.

I look up at the clock. 7:29. I hear Jasper downstairs. Apparently he was hunting.

I open the door and turn off the bathroom lights. I slowly walk down the stairs. The shoes are no problem. And anyway, I was always taught to walk with grace and self-assurance no matter what. When my heels hit the floor, everyone looks at me. Emmett whistles and I smirk. Smirks are the closest I ever get to smiling. Even Carlisle's eyes widen slightly, not enough for a human to see, but enough for me to notice. Edward blinks in astonishment then rolls his eyes at Emmett, probably responding to some vulgar thought. Rosalie glares, along with Bella. Alice and Esme and Renesmee smile. Jasper just looks at me in an almost.. Judging way. But I recognize the look in his eyes. I have seen it before in many other men's. This is fun. Good for my ego, at least. Jake gives me a wolfish grin and is the first to speak. "So. Venus is back." He says, using my old nickname from the rez, like the Roman goddess of loves and beauty. Carlisle smiles. "You look wonderful, Leah." He says kindly. Edward nods. Bella smacks him. Emmett seizes the opportunity to make a cheesy joke. "You sure are one _hot dog_, Leah," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. Everybody groans and Rosalie rolls her eyes. "The others are already over there." Jake tells me, obviously referring to Seth, Quil, and Embry. "I'm about to leave with Nessie." I nod. "Okay." He grins. "I _so _can't wait to see everyone's reactions." He cackles and then picks up Nessie and walks out the door.

I check the clock and saunter over to Jasper, swaying my hips. Hey, I can have fun right? I tilt my head and look up at him innocently. Even with the shoes, he's still 2 or 3 inches taller than I am. "Are we going? I don't want to be late. Remember, it take a while to get there." Assuming we don't go over 100 miles an hour, which, seeing as you're a Cullen, you probably will. The trance seems to be broken. "Of course," he murmurs. He turns and walks toward Alice and leans down – way down – to peck her on the lips. They smile and then he turns to me. "This way." He says, his voice expressionless but his eyes betray him. They have that familiar glimmer of admiration. Then he turns and walks out the door leading to the garage I assume, obviously expecting me to follow. I heave a sigh and walk behind him. Once in the garage, he goes over to a shiny black car in the corner. Damn. A Lamborghini Gallardo Sypder. 2010. Of course, it must seem like a tricycle compared to the other cars in her but still.. Shit. He grins at me for the first time ever over the shiny hood. "You look very nice, by the way. And you're much prettier with your mouth shut." He says before climbing in behind the wheel. "All thanks to your wife'" I remind him before sliding into the front seat beside him.

**A/N: I updated quickly, didn't I? By the way, I haven't put a disclaimer in any of the chapters yet so this is me saying I don't own any characters. And I don't know if it would be wise to let me. I'd probably make Bella die and Sam and Carlisle make out and Emily light Renesmee on fire and stuff like that.. Yeah. SO all this shit belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I also didn't get any reviews for last chapter. Come on guys. Please? With cool whip, sprinkles and cherries on top? Low calorie too!(;**

**Love ya,**

**Akilah**

**PS: There are links of pictures of the dresses in upcoming chapters on my profile. Check them out! Or don't. There are also picture of people who I would like better as Leah. (Namely, Megan Fox, Mila Kunis, and Jessica Lowndes.) A misture of them is what I see in my head when I write Leah. Js(:**

**Also, the reason I described Leah in so much detail appearance-wise is not because I am obsessed with looks but I wanted y'all to understand how mu Sam and Emily have hurt her. They made someone so gorgesous believe she's not. Also, it will tie in later.**

**Okay. Bye for realz!(:**


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